Do You Choose to Obey or Be in Trouble?

That is the question I have been asking my children CONSTANTLY! I like bringing this to their attention so they can see that the choice is theirs; to show them that I will discipline them when THEY choose to disobey. It was not Mommy or Daddy's choice but theirs alone. I think this is very important that they understand this concept.

It has been a couple really tough weeks. Mollie has reverted back to tantrums and they are bigger and badder (is that a word?) than ever before. For example, last week my sister was watching her and she was sent to her room for disobeying and told to sit on her bed. She told her Auntie "NO!" but did go to her room. Her Auntie told her to leave the door open and go sit on her bed (otherwise Mollie will just escape by trying to go to sleep.) Mollie tried to shut the door. Auntie repeated the command again to which Mollie slammed the door open, yes open and gave her Auntie a look like "So there!" Britt said she can't believe how much attitude comes out of such a little body. I agree and this has been a trying time. Neither Jones or Mollie seem to care to obey whatsoever. FRUSTRATING!

I find that when we go through a stage like this I tend to want to withdraw because I can feel overwhelmed, disrespected, unloved, etc. but I am finding more and more that I need to do the opposite. So today, my new plan of action has begun! Joey is out of town for three days and I am just going to take this time to pour into my kids. I do have a busy day tomorrow and the next day but all today and every second I am with them in the next couple days will be about showing them how much I love them and teaching them as calmly as I can to walk in the way of righteousness.

I am all about training the heart. So I do what I feel in my spirit is the right thing to do and I seek out books and information that go along with that idea. My Jones is a "Why Guy" and he just has to know why about anything. I normally do explain things to him but right now we are working on obeying first and talking later. I know this is hard for him if he feels he doesn't understand why he is told to do something. I tell him that he is welcome to ask me questions any time of the day but when it comes to a time when he is told or asked to do something, I need to see immediate action and the only words I want to hear if any are "Yes Mom." I have yet to hear & see it come naturally from him but we are working on it. We are working on Mollie too.

Last week I had a call from Jones teacher and that was pretty hard. He was just goofing around blowing on people, pulling hair, and not responding to his teachers warnings and instructions. She said Jones ended up being separated from the group for the entire day. This made me very sad but also very upset as Jones CHOSE to not obey his teacher and to not use self control. We had a LONG talk reminding him of lessons he has already learned about not giving in to temptation and using self control. We talked about his awesome qualities like how incredibly smart and friendly he is. We explained he can either be the boy that his teacher says "Oh, here comes trouble" or that she says "Oh, here comes my awesome student Jones!" We also discussed that his actions are a distraction to the other students and he does not want to be responsible for other people not learning! Overall I think it was very good that it all happened. It showed Jones that we have communication with his teacher and it is all tied together and also to remind him that we can not go with him everywhere and he will have to decide for himself what kind of person he wants to be and in turn what kinds of things will take place in his life, opportunity & blessing? Or trouble? He reminded himself that God is always with him. He is never alone which is a great thing especially when you are lonely or scared but also He is watching and our goal is to please him and not disappoint him even though His love does not change.

What is great is that when I seek advice from my Bible or Christian authors regarding parenting, I always become more clear on my relationship with God as well since I am the child in that circumstance. I read and then talked to Jones yesterday about God's rules and our rules. They aren't there to limit you and be mean, they are there as a protection and to help lead a life of more blessing vs. hardships. I asked him what would happen if I put my hand on the hot stove? Jones said "You would get burned." I explained that in the way he knows that consequence, that Daddy and I know the consequences to his disobedience especially if it continues into adulthood which is why we are trying to nip it in the bud. In turn I of course understand even more so God's rules and how they are there out of love and protection (which I knew but sometimes you just understand in an even deeper way you know?)

So that is a much longer story than I was planning to tell but I am hoping we are coming to a peak (as my friend Molly said yesterday) and hopefully it will get a little easier soon.