Thursday, May 03, 2007

Feelings

So now we are home. My mind has been swirling about me. So many thoughts, so many fears. It has just made me ill. I don't know what I am so worried about. I am soooooooo excited to see our children and bring them home but at the same time I am not looking forward to the long trip. It was really hard. I get really homesick. I also sort of developed a fear for flying. Anyway, I have just been feeling so odd and not at home yet. I think maybe it is because it is a time of transition and our lives are forever changed, in a good way, but none the less - changed. And of course the flying. These feeling have been tormenting me. I love the people of Russia, I love all people but the whole experience and culture and language shock was difficult. I discovered I am not a world traveler. I kept praying and praying against all my fears and nervousness and I knew God was with us even here once we were home and he was answering prayers and keeping us safe and helping with the bonding but still I could not shake it. I am happy to say that finally today I am free! I feel confidant moving forward, I feel strengthened to face the challenges of the future and the travels. I feel so much better. I spent a lot of time waiting on the Lord this morning and it was wonderful. He has given me peace. I debated whether or not to write this blog and I decided to do it and be honest. So many are walking this journey with us and I am so grateful for the the support, prayer,and finances! I felt I owed it to everyone to be completely transparent in the journey during hard times and great times. To sum it up- now it's all good.

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