Thursday, July 03, 2008

How far do you go?

Today Jones was in trouble for not obeying and so I had to discipline him and afterwards we ended up having a very long conversation. We talked about how important it is to obey your parents and God. We discussed how nothing he does could ever change our love for him and how when we ask him to do something we are not doing it to be mean and keep him from doing fun things, we are doing it because we know the outcome from our experience. Sometimes it is very hard for him to trust us and believe that we know better for him than himself so I am always looking for opportunities to show him.

Anyway, so later in the conversation I told him that the kind of trouble he can get into as an adult could be way more painful than the trouble he is in now which is why I am trying to teach him as a little boy and that the Bible is God's way of teaching us and how it is almost like a treasure map showing us the way. That God does not want to keep him from things either but rather He knows that if we follow His simple rules and advice that we will avoid many pitfalls and things that are harmful, painful, and life ruining. He wants us to have all the good things in life. It is out of love not out of control. Jones seemed to understand to a point.

Then we got to talking about what kind of bad trouble you can get in when you are older. I told him he could go to jail, or lose his house, or car, or job, or friend, etc... which led to a conversation that the world has many good & beautiful things and people but because of our enemy there are also many bad and scary things. He wanted to know everything but I told him he would learn as he grows but I did teach him about strangers and that there are some bad people that "take children" and if he ever gets lost to try to look for another Mommy with children or a store employee and ask for help. It was just the first time I really thought about my child not knowing all the icky stuff out there. I don't want him to know it all but I do want him to have a certain sense of caution. So my question is ... what have you explained to your children about the "bad" in the world and how far do you go in those explanations? My son is very inquisitive if you can't tell by the direction the conversation went.

1 comment:

Willow said...

Can I tell you my girls are VERY "inquisitive" too??! Averi has already asked me "how come you don't get discipline mommy?" and I had to start the discussion that I DO if I disobey God, but it's a different kind of discipline.

You sounds like you did an awesome job talking with Jones...keeping the focus on our relationship with God, not the punishment. Sometimes I find I do need to answer the question or they'll never quit (like telling Halle who would take care of her if I ever went to jail! :) Telling her I won't ever break the law and be sent to jail wasn't satisfactory! :)

I do always try to change the angle to what God's Word says and then ask them questions. Does God know more than us? Does God love us? How MUCH does God love us? What was the ULTIMATE way which He showed his love for us? And I find they are more satisfied when you help them come to the conclusion that obeying God, in his infinite love and wisdom, is a reasonable and more easily reached conclusion.

One thing I missed out on growing up and am VERY aware of letting my kids in on is this: SHARE with them about what is going on in your life. Age appropriate of course. But if you do something and have a repercussion; share. Tell them what you learned. Help them understand why you might be making a difficult decision.

Talking with the girls about our moved to Nashville, our second move in a year, is a great chance for us to share how obedience to God; WHATEVER He wants for us is our ultimate goal. What might happen if we didn't move when thought God wanted us to? Maybe Daddy wouldn't be able to provide for our family as much, maybe we'd be missing out on wonderful new friendships...etc.

Kids are SOOOO smart! This process, in my opinion has to be SOOO intentional but the fruit will be amazing and so longlasting!

I LOVE to hear about others and their experiences like this since I think we can all learn so much from it! Thanks for sharing, Erin!